Juice cleanse fail

I never thought I would see the day where I would attempt a juice cleanse. I think about food more times a day than I think a normal person should, that’s how much I love it. But I got this hardcore industrial strength Ninja blender for my birthday and suddenly I found myself flirting with the idea, and it materialized pretty quickly from there.

I didn’t want to do it to lose weight. It was really just something new to try and I was interested to see how my body would do for several straight days without caffeine, processed foods, added sugar, etc.

I will qualify that the ‘cleanse’ that I created was modified and did involve a healthy solid food dinner every evening. I didn’t think it would be remotely healthy for me to only drink juice because I knew I would still be exercising to some extent throughout the week. But breakfast and lunch would be three different veggie/fruit juices. The cleanse was supposed to last three days.

I found some recipes and bought essentially an entire grocery cart filled with produce. I did what anyone who is trying something potentially crazy does and enlisted a friend to do it with me (thanks, Chelsea!).

Juice cleanse, Day 1

I was ready to go with my pre-blended juices for the day lined up in the fridge. I drank one before work and strategically planned to drink my other ones every 3 hours or so.

By 1:30 PM on Day 1, Chelsea and I were sending each other cranky text messages. They only escalated as the day went on.

I hate you.

I hate you.

By 5:00 PM on Day 1, I caved and ate crackers and some guacamole and then texted Chelsea to confess.

Pretty sure I ate more than 9. But who counts?

Ate way more than 9. But who counts?

By 6:00 PM on Day 1, Chelsea and I had reached a mutual agreement that juice cleanses suck and we were going to jump ship and have to find a whole lot of clever ways to utilize a whole lot of produce.

Juice cleanse fail, Day 2

I ate a black bean burrito for lunch, pawned the remaining beets in my fridge off on a co-worker because I had no idea what the hell to do with them, and roasted all the carrots to eat as a side dish for dinner.

I have heard some people say that juice cleanses are great – but they definitely aren’t for me. It wasn’t that I was hungry all of Day 1 (at least not until my late afternoon whiny texts and snack), it was just the way my body and brain reacted that I didn’t care for. I thought about food WAY too much – yes, even more than I normally do. My mind felt really foggy most of the day and my energy level was all over the place.

If it doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t. So I think the decision to claim juice cleanse defeat was the right one. But I guess it was worth the experiment.

Have you ever tried a juice cleanse? Ever failed at a juice cleanse on day 1 like me?


8 thoughts on “Juice cleanse fail

  1. Anna, I would have never guessed you would attempt a juice cleanse. Your love of food matches mine, and I would sooner dig my own grave than go without solids for more than 2 hours. Your post cracked me up!

  2. This made me laugh. Not because of the failure, but because I’ve been there myself. I lasted 3 days and then devoured every food item in my pantry. Even the gross stuff. 🙂

    • Yeah, that was part of why I gave it up. I was fantasizing about all the worst foods and the idea of devouring an entire pizza. So I felt like if I made it all three days I would go crazy on the fourth and eat everything in sight… which would kind of defeat the purpose!

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